Audience Participation

from Levity & Novelty by Brian Woodbury

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    Levity & Novelty
    (Volume 1 of Anthems & Antithets)

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lyrics

V E R S E 1
BRIAN: Oh, God help us!
He’s asking
“How ya all feeling tonight?”
The crowd’s responding
By shouting “Woo!”
Yet I’m sensing that something’s not right
’Cause now he’s claiming
That he can’t hear us.
But how could that even be true?
He’s quite insistent
That we all participate
Must I oblige and make the noise he wants me to?
Woo!

C H O R U S 1
Audience participation
Audience participation
I’m minding my own business here
but he won’t let me be
Why must the show include me, me, me, me, me?
Why must the show include me?

V E R S E 2
Oh, now he’s moving
He’s off the stage now
He’s making his way down the aisle.
Oh, please, dear Jesus,
Go somewhere else
If he looks over here, I won’t smile
But now he’s looming
Right above me
I can feel his hot breath, he’s so near
As he is shouting
Into the microphone
To announce that he has found his volunteer

CHORUS 2
Audience participation
Audience participation
I made myself invisible,
but somehow he could see
Why did he have to pick me, me, me, me, me?
Why did he have to pick me?

B R I D G E
Now he pulls me up on stage and asks my name
And I answer nicely trying to act cool
Soon I realize what he wants is
them to laugh at my responses
And my only purpose is to play the fool
And though he plainly doesn't need my help at all
Still he puts me to some task that he's prepared
Then he says I’m not complying
And the audience is dying
With relief that they have narrowly been spared

C H O R U S 3
Audience participation
Audience participation
I bought myself a ticket,
Yes, but I did not agree
To be humiliated
By some second-rate emcee
Why did he have to pick me?

Oh, hello, there.
PAUL: Me?
BRIAN: Yes, you.
PAUL: Hi.
BRIAN: What’s your name?
PAUL: Paul.
BRIAN: Hey, Paul, where are you from?
PAUL:Um, Los Angeles?
BRIAN: Oh, that’s an interesting place to be from, I suppose. Listen, when you get singled out in a crowd, put on the spot, does that make you feel uncomfortable at all?
PAUL: I don’t know. Hm.
BRIAN: And does your denial of feeling uncomfortable perhaps stem from some unresolved issues from childhood?
PAUL: Um, maybe?
BRIAN: Perhaps it's a deep sense of inferiority – you think you’re not worthy?
PAUL: I didn’t say that.
BRIAN: Or maybe it’s a feeling of smug superiority – you think you’re better than everyone else, don’t you, Paul?
PAUL: No…
BRIAN: Now, Paul, if you can’t be any more forthcoming, then you’ve wasted everyone’s time. And I’ll have to call on someone else. You wouldn’t want me to have to do that, now, would you?
PAUL: Sure!
BRIAN: Actually, I am going to call on someone else. I’m going to call on all of you to help me sing this song. I’ll sing the first line and you repeat it. Ready?

C H O R U S 4
Audience participation You try!
AUDIENCE: Audience participation
BRIAN: Well, that was all right… considering... Now let’s do the second line.
Audience participation
AUDIENCE: Audience participation
BRIAN: Hey, that was good! Let’s put it all together and go on. Except you won’t go on because you don’t know the rest of the lyrics. But here goes. 1-2-3-4
BRIAN & AUDIENCE: Audience participation
Audience participation
BRIAN: And now we’ve suffered long enough,
It’s time that we’re set free
And if you all concur,
Then you can join in with my plea
Why do they always pick me, me, me, me, me?
Why do they always pick me? Everybody!
BRIAN & AUDIENCE: Why do they always pick me, me, me, me, me?
Why do they always pick -
BRIAN: Take it, Paul!
PAUL: Me
BRIAN: Huh, odd choice, Paul. I was actually gonna say
Me__ But that’ll do. Paul, ladies and gentlemen.

credits

from Levity & Novelty, released February 1, 2020
lead vocal & FX: Brian Woodbury; audience vocal & nylon guitar: Paul F. Perry; accordion: Narib Yubrodow; audience vocals: Elma Mayer, Deb Hiett & Maple Valley House Concert audience

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Brian Woodbury Los Angeles, California

Brian Woodbury is a Los Angeles composer, lyricist and bandleader who writes musicals, post-modern jazz compositions, quirky pop, country songs and music for children's TV.

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