Levity & Novelty

by Brian Woodbury

  • Streaming + Download

    Pre-order of Levity & Novelty. You get 6 tracks now (streaming via the free Bandcamp app and also available as a high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more), plus the complete album the moment it’s released.
    Purchasable with gift card
    releases February 1, 2020

      $20 USD  or more


  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Levity & Novelty
    (Volume 1 of Anthems & Antithets)

    Includes digital pre-order of Levity & Novelty. You get 6 tracks now (streaming via the free Bandcamp app and also available as a high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more), plus the complete album the moment it’s released.
    digital album releases February 1, 2020
    item ships out on or around January 31, 2020
    edition of 525 

      $20 USD or more 


If I Knew
Eternal Damnation feat. Joe Moe
The Brain
Medical Emergency
Complicated Rhythm
Perfectly Awful feat. Deb Hiett
Audience Participation
Don Knotts
You Should Write a Song About That
Don't Call Back
A Man with No Foible
The Worst Song on the Album
You Rock
You're Like Hitler
I Hold Your Hand in Mine
Hey Guys
Care About Cancer
The Best Ever


Volume 1 of Anthems & Antithets


releases February 1, 2020

Brian Woodbury: vocs, gtrs, bass, keys, perc, uke, banjo, amateur fiddle, autoharp, programming, arranging, FX
Marc Muller: gtrs & arranging (Ava, If, Awful, WD-40);
bass (Awful, WD-40); uke (Awful)
Sam Woodbury: gtrs (Eternal, Prog, Don’t, Worst);
bass (Worst)
Jim Kimo West: gtr (Complicated); nylon (Hold)
Paul F. Perry: nylon & vocs (Sea, Audience)
Edwin Livingston: upright bass (Sea, Complicated)
Johnny Unicorn: bass, keys, co-lead vocs & arranging (Prog)
Mark Pardy: drums (Bad, If, Ava, Eternal, Prog)
Andy Sanesi: drums (Complicated, Don’t)
Joe Berardi: drums (Women)
Nick Ariondo: accordion (Women)
Narib Yubrodow: accordion (Bad, Audience)
Peter Lurye: piano & arranging (Picture, Brain)
Nick Mancini: vibes (Sea)
Sara Parkins: violins (Eternal, Foible, Women)
Maggie Parkins: cellos (Foible, Women)
Jimbo Ross: viola (Women)
Mark Hollingsworth: flutes, saxes, recorders (Prog);
clarinets (Hitler)
Sal Lazano: saxes (Women)
Chris Tedesco: french horns (Eternal); trumpets (Foible)
Chris Olness: tuba (Hitler)
Allen Savedoff: bassoon (Prog)
Joe Moe: lead vocal (Eternal)
Deb Hiett: co-lead vocal (Awful); bgd vocal (Audience, Hitler)
Amy Keys: soprano, Gospel vocal (Eternal)
Kathi Funston: soprano (Eternal, Complicated)
Heather Marsden: alto (Eternal, Complicated)
Gary Stockdale: tenor (Eternal, Complicated)
Bob Joyce: bass-baritone (Eternal, Complicated)
Amy Engelhardt: bgd vocs (Bad)
Marc Doten: bgd vocs (Ava, Sea, Prog)
Bill Berry: bgd vocs (Ava, Hitler)
Elma Mayer: bgd vocs (Audience, Hitler)
Mable Valley House Concert audience (Audience, Hitler)
Dan Cubert: additional perc (Foible); FX (Prog)

Mixed by Dan Cubert
Mastered by Danny Blume
Produced by Brian Woodbury
Photos & design by John Goss
Brian Woodbury photo by Cat Gwynn
Podium photos by Michael McClure, mmcphoto.com
Mark Pardy uses Sabian cymbals and Promark sticks
Andy Sanesi uses DW drums, Sabian cymbals, Remo drum heads, Vic Firth sticks & Beato cases


all rights reserved



Brian Woodbury Los Angeles, California

Brian Woodbury is a Los Angeles composer, lyricist and bandleader who writes musicals, post-modern jazz compositions, quirky pop, country songs and music for children's TV.

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Track Name: My Bad
V E R S E 1
I’m sorry I said sorry right when you were in my way
I know I should have thought of something
more polite to say
I wanted to alert you that you ought to move you arm
I didn’t want to injure it to pull the fire alarm
I know it’s no excuse but that’s the only one I had
My bad

V E R S E 2
I’m sorry I said sorry when you trampled on my toe
The fire escape was crowded.
There was nowhere else to go
Your cleats had pierced my Birkenstocks.
I didn’t want to shout
I wasn’t even thinking when “I’m sorry” just came out
I think I thought that you might somehow
think that I was mad

My bad, my bad, my bad, my bad, my bad, etc.

V E R S E 3
I’m sorry I said sorry
when we both were trying to speak
I’m sorry if you thought that it was meant as a critique
We both saw someone up there
as the roof began to burn
I told the first responder, but I didn’t wait my turn
I’m sure there were important details
you had meant to add

My bad, my bad, my bad, my bad, my bad, etc.

Why must I take the blame?
It isn’t fun to do
But like my mother says
And my father says
And my wife says, sorry
My ex-wife says
And my girlfriend says
And her boyfriend says
And my therapist says
My chiropractor says
“Why is everything your fault?”
So, I know it must be true.

V E R S E 4
I’m sorry I said sorry at my witness interview
In hindsight maybe that was not the wisest thing to do
I gave my testimony. The detective thought I lied.
He asked why I was sorry if I had no crime to hide
And now I’m in for arson though my alibi was ironclad

My bad, my bad, my bad, my bad, my bad, etc.
BG: (Who’s sorry now?)
My bad, my bad, my bad, my bad, my bad, etc.
Track Name: Picture Me
We’ve only met online—
But we are soulmates all the same
Though I’m guessing DesperateSingleGirl
Is not your actual name

Your profile touched me where it counts
So here’s my virtual calling card
And as you hold it in your hand
Think about me long and hard

V E R S E 1 A
When you go to bed at night
Before you snuff your smart phone light
Read this note and then swipe right to
Picture me

V E R S E 1 B
It may have given you a start
This too tumescent work of art
But it reveals what’s in my heart
So picture me

B R I D G E 1
Though it’s dimly lit and grainy
This vision from afar
Almost varicose-ly veiny
It’s my gift to you, whoever you are

V E R S E 1 C
It may seem forward, that is true
I can send one taken sideways too
Either shows how I want you
To picture me

V E R S E 2 A
Boorish fellows may affix
Their photos just to get some kicks
But I’m not like those other dicks
So picture me

V E R S E 2 B
I could have set a slower pace
But why not cut right to the chase
And let me get all in your face?
Just picture me

B R I D G E 2
As for size, no prize I’d win, dear
I’m ungainly, blunt and red
But it’s not shame or chagrin, dear
That’s making the blood rush to my head

V E R S E 2 C
And if you succumb to my allures
It’s only fair, as love matures,
I’ve shown you mine, now show me yours
Yes, picture me


B R I D G E 3
If, in spite of my entreaty,
You choose to pass me by
I will find another sweetie
One whose standards aren’t so high

V E R S E 3
There’s plenty more where you came from
To reach out to, till my thumbs go numb
Ready or not, girls, here I come
Ooh, that’s it!
Picture me
Track Name: Ava's Couch
V E R S E 1 A
My cousin kicked me out
’cause I wasn’t payin’ rent
And my student loan defaulted
and my vouchers all got spent

Started crashin’ with my buddies,
Wound up sleepin’ on the floor
I got bored of smokin’ all their weed
and playing PS4

V E R S E 1 B
Then a couple weeks with Matthew
But that dude’s a total slob
He kept runnin’ out of groceries
He kept sayin’, “Get a job”

My life was goin’ nowhere
Man, I’d thought my luck was through
But then my dreams came true
Right when I surfed onto

Ava’s couch
I’m so pumped up! This is rad!
Though she doesn’t know how much I wan’ her
I’m crushin’ on her bad
I’m sittin’ pretty on Ava’s couch
And I’m just bidin’ my sweet time
To cook up
How we’ll hook up
Hey, Matt, how ’bout that? I’m no slouch
On Ava’s couch
On Ava’s couch

V E R S E 2
I had my eye on Ava
Back since San Diego State
She’d come cryin’ on my shoulder
‘bout the guys she used to date

She says now I can crash here
Till my internship comes in
So either way I win
My slickest move has been

C H O R U S 2
Ava’s couch
Now if only I could score
But I wonder if she wants to do me
Or wants a roomie more
Still I’m here, I’m on Ava’s couch
I hope she pickin’ up the signs
I’m showin’
But she’s goin’
“Could you move your hack-y sack pouch?”
On Ava’s couch
On Ava’s couch

I want her to be my girlfriend
Takin’ her to Olive Garden, handin’ her a rose
But she wants me to be her girlfriend
Watchin’ Gilmore Girls
and eatin’ Honey Nut Cheerios


Why did I surf onto
Ava’s couch?
She’s askin’ me to feed her cat
While she’s goin’ out to grab a bite with
And spend the night with Matt
(Seriously, Matt?)
How’d I end up on Ava’s couch?
Bet she’s already set her mind
To boot me
Ah, just shoot me.
She calls me her B.F.F.
On Ava’s couch
On Ava’s couch
On Ava’s couch
Track Name: The Sea View Inn
V E R S E 1 A
Though you wife has been allaying
Your suspicions, folks are saying
That she's busy running 'round

With any boy toy who is handy
That's her modus operandi
But as yet no evidence is found

For she's furtive and clandestine
She won't have her handsome guest in
She goes elsewhere to cavort

Somewhere scenic, some sultry
Somewhere perfect for adultery
Off to an inn of last resort

V E R S E 1 B
Yes, your darling who was once green
Is now smoothly rubbing sunscreen
Onto some stranger's back

In the smell of oxybenzone
He is not long for the friendzone
Very soon they'll hit the sack

She met this one at the foot spa
And she had a lot of chutzpah
To invite him for a spin

If you knew it, it would grieve you
That they’re off now to deceive in

C H O R U S 1
The Sea View Inn
Great for quick assignations
Those impromptu vacations
A beach front for sin
Ah, the Sea View Inn
Where their passions are burning
And the ice machine’s churning
Her escapades end and begin
At the Sea View Inn
At the Sea View Inn

V E R S E 2 A
On a business trip to Natchez
In your pool bag you find matches
From an unfamiliar place

Well, she tried to spare you this sting
But so frequent was her trysting
Just one rendezvous has left a trace

He’s not her be-all nor her end-all
He is just a hunky Ken doll
A diversion for a day

Then you learn he's one of ten gents
You want justice, you want vengeance
You want to make the harlot pay

V E R S E 2 B
When she married you, she struck gold
Now she’s making you a cuckold
Still you’ve got to cool your wrath

And you’ll kiss your lucky horseshoe,
Pray to God she won't divorce you
At least once you do the math

For if she does, she's gonna clean up
’Cause she never signed that pre-nup
There’s no way that you can win

But whether she decides to leave you
She is off now to deceive you in

C H O R U S 2
The Sea View Inn
With its blue ocean vistas
Nothing stings more than this does
To find that she’s been
At the Sea View Inn
While you’re stuck at home livid
With your fantasies vivid
You’ve learned about love’s evil twin
From the Sea View Inn
From the Sea View Inn
Track Name: Old Time Prog feat. Johnny Unicorn
...and on the eighth day, God created progressive rock
and He called it “prog.”

C H O R U S 1
Just gimme some of that old time prog
With Hammond organs and lots of fog
In seven-four with an epilogue
Just get me near some
And make it fearsome
I wanna hear some of that old time prog

V E R S E 1
I guess that modern jazz is kinda cool,
I don't mind the second Viennese school
Gregorian chants, well, they’re a bit cliche
Indonesian gamelan’s okay

I can tolerate a blues guitar
In a whole-tone scale and 13-bar
Bollywood? I guess I like it fine
But there’s only one music of that convulses my spine

C H O R U S 2
Just gimme some of that old time prog
With epic tales of a magic frog
A keyboard soloing demagogue
That is my Eden
That’s what I’m needin’
My ears are bleedin’ for that old time prog

V E R S E 2
I took my girl to see a prog rock show
She couldn’t dance to it and made us go
She said, “Don’t ever play that noise again.”
So I broke up with her there and then

I read a write-up on the show I’d seen
“Pretentious bunk,” said Billboard magazine
But now I’ve met a girl who likes prog too
She says, “Baby, just pretend you never read that review”

C H O R U S 3
Let’s get us some of that old time prog
Where synthesizers are analog
The sound that’s making our ears unclog
That is our passion
Always in fashion
No, don’t go trashin’ that old time prog

So-o-o, let’s turn the lights dow-own low
Go-o-o crank up the stere-eo
Slo-o-ow a-a-and then quickening
Flickering in the candle’s glow
Lost in the musical maze as the hours flow

Lo-o-ow, soft now the speaker-ers play
Blo-o-ow, incense a sage bouquet
Bo-o-old a-a-and then simpering
Rollicking late night roundelay
Lost in the musical maze till the break o’ day

O-o-oh, putting our headpho-ones on
Who-o-oah, check out the mello-otron
Gro-o-ow-i-i-i-ing and withering
Swooning inside a marathon
Lost in the musical maze till the early dawn

I N S T R U M E N T A L 1

Where will we go?
If we stay
There’s no end
There’s no over
Over all
Fall in with me

Ascending through a lightning world of change
As grains of sand will stop and rearrange
And birds sing greeting welcome without sound
To lonely waters churning underground
And chasms of the mother mountains grieve
We’re waiting all in waiting to believe
The gorges move along a canyon road
To rendezvous with the Desert Toad

I N S T R U M E N T A L 2

Ollotis alvaria
Keeper of bufotenin
Spoke thus, “Only seek gaia
Find Adri ajana”

C H O R U S 3
Go get you some of that old time prog
To help escape the mainstream gulag
It’s still my favorite dead horse to flog
There’s nothing vital
As a math recital
Go find your idyll in that old time prog
Old time prog.
Track Name: Women (Know What I'm Sayin'?)
Know what I’m sayin’?
Forget about it.
Know what I mean?
It’s like, I don’t know, ya know, I don’t know.
Gimme a break.

Pardon me.
I know it’s none of my business, but I think you got a problem.
Want to know what your problem it?
I hope you don’t mind my sayin’ so.
I just call ’em like I see ’em.

You gotta understand something:
Every woman is always,
“Can we talk?”
We she can talk all she wants…. Obviously.
Talk is cheap.
But like they say, “Actions is louder than words”
You said that right!
Got nothin’ to say, why say it?
Shut up already.
You’re talkin’ a lot but you ain’t sayin’ anything.
Know what I mean?

What can ya do?
I’m tellin’ ya…
Go figure.
It’s like, I don’t know, ya know, I don’t know.
Tell me about it!

And what’s with women?
They’re always complaining about us.
Like we’re all the same.
“Men this, men that!”
Don’t look at me, honey1
I didn’t make the rules
I meant, a man’s gotta do what a man’s….
Ya know, and like that.
What does she expect?
You’re only human.

Now don’t get me wrong.
I love women
I mean, I’m not like…
Hey… Okay?
I mean, no way.
Watch it!
But you can take it too far.

Like that story -- that guy, that big shot,
and that girl -- you know the famous pair.
At first they’re all like [kissing sound].
Look at ’em now.
She’s givin’ him grief.
He’s like whatever.
She’s outta here.
Guess who pays?
What’s up with that?

Yeah, right?
Believe me.
What can I say?
It’s like, I don’t know, ya know, I don’t know.

Now, I know what you’re thinkin’?
Who is this guy?
What does he know from women?
I know, believe me, I know
But you don’t have to take my advice.
Don’t listen to me.

Hey, but before ya go, I was wonderin’:
You know anyplace around here that’s good to meet girls?
For some reason, I keep shtrikin’ out.
Can you believe it?

Know what I’m sayin’?
For get about it
Know what I mean?
It’s like, I don’t know, ya know, I don’t know.
Say that again!

Gimme a break!

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